Facebook Ads, Debunked

Ahhh Facebook. Facebook and Myspace and Texting and Email and the constant surveillance of you to your friends and your friends to you and strangers to you and you to strangers and everyone incessantly and unrelentingly giving a shit what everyone else is doing all the time, with every tool and intention necessary to keep track of it all. Now with billboards! You can of course, in the interest of you and capitalism in general, customize your sales experience here.

First....I click the X at the upper right hand corner of the ad I find disturbingly placed on my Facebook Page, which prompts the marketing engineers at FBHQ to interrogate me until I tell them whether it is because I found the ad either...


1) Misleading
2) Uninteresting
3) Repetitive
4) Too Sexually Stimulating to be free
5) A picture of a dog's severed head
or
6) Other

To my absolutely intoxicating enjoyment...when you click "other" you get to tell them why... Essay style.

Here are my responses to Ads that I felt were offensive for none of the reasons non-creative facebook marketing interns provided me:

CHRISTIAN SINGLES -----CHRISTIANMINGLE.COM

 The Face of Innocence (2011)

"Let's be honest here, the girl in the photo...the chosen snapshot, meant to offer a glimpse into what is to represent a much larger population of christian singles and otherwise conservatively trained daters...is undoubtedly giving somebody the fuck me eyes. I would only respond to this ad if I wanted to have sex with a woman who has no morals at all. Nothing screams  "non-biblically-sanctioned sexual acts are afoot" like the look of sheer desire in that woman's eyes. I've not the slightest idea why you would offer up this particular ad to such an obvious non-member of that interest anyways unless of course you had comedy on the ol' noggin...in which case, BRAV-fucking-O that is funny! To include with such an inappropriately positioned advertisement the almost satirically placed look of beast like intentions I haven't seen since Nine Inch Nails introduced me to true sadomasochism.... you guys are geniuses! haha!"



First in the series.