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So! As long as we can all agree to those completely relevant and legally binding terms, lets continue. I would like to start off with a quote from the late George Carlin, as I feel he will always be useful to me.
"The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."
Yes sir. Now of course the flamethrower George is referring to is the one that makes grown men cry and run with two broken legs whilst defecating in their own trousers in the 40's, made popular by the Germans who called it a Flammenwerfer 35, haha, those goofy Germans, they have a funny word for everything! BUT. What if we could scale it down a bit? Make it right for use in the home? Say for lighting really big candles, or melting snowmen? Well, fret not my legion of McGuyvers, I have found a solution. Behold, the wrist mounted flame thrower!
For those big candles.
This is actually fairly simple, its just EXTREMELY IMPORTANT that you CHECK YOUR WORK. All in all this project should cost about 40 bucks altogether to make. Here's what you need:
- Spiderman Webslinger Wrist Mount (Toys R Us)
- Devcon All purpose adhesive
- Canned Air or Keyboard Duster
- 1/4" Clear Vinyl Hose (about 2 Feet worth)
- Zip Ties
- 1/4" Drill/bit
- Two hands
Now we're ready to get started! I expect everyone reading this article to have undergone some form of common sense training and perhaps a shop class or two. I can't write you a step by step Oh The Places You'll go manifesto with directions to each minute detail (Read Disclaimer).
Here is your basic plan of action when using those evil hands of yours to create this particularly harmful device. Let's make Michael Bay proud people.
The Spiderman web slinger allows you to shoot water....silly string...flammable liquids etc. all by pulling down on a lever placed on the wrist mount.
Don't wear the included meltable gloves.
However, the container isn't pressurized, and would only work for several seconds at a time without some source of pressure. The canned air or duster should work just fine. Take the red plastic cap off the duster, and sand it so that it is rough, don't sand the hole there the air comes out, just make the surrounding plastic rough. You are, using the adhesive, going to attach the vinyl hose by shoving the cap into it, leaving the bottom exposed (so you can reattach it to the can).
Once you've done that, you'll notice there is a twist cap located on the top of your web slinger. Unscrew it, cut the string, the cap is useless for the evil purpose of your flame thrower. Using the adhesive once again, attach the hose to your water tank, making sure it is air tight. Now, just be applying pressure to the hose near the air canister, you have a way to pressurize you water tank.
Should look like this
Time to find the right fluid to fill up your tank with. The best I have found is WD-40, which may only allow you to use this device outside, but has a low flash point and burns in a stream. The other way to fill it is to empty a can or two of Axe Body spray into your tank, then use the air to pressurize it. Attach the web slinger to your wrist, use a lighter, placed in front of your hand, and pull the lever!
Fun Factor: 12 1/2
I will more than likely come to edit this a bit to make it more word-friendly, but if you have any questions, come see me on Facebook, or drop a line in the comments section. Enjoy!
Elliott
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