The Newest Drug Everyones Doing And Not Telling You About

Nothing like a warm, soothing, aromatic bath to make you wanna talk to your couch about the intricacies of the universe, and how your genius will only be understood after the capitalist regimes have toppled and true enlightenment is experienced by this world of brainwashed consumers.

Already sold at head shops and gas stations, BLISS Bath Salts are not actually bath salts at all, but the latest drug taking the nation by storm and making the DEA curse the sneaky little jerk-offs at BLISS for sliding it right under all our noses....

 So to speak.

With the promise to "Energize the Mind and Body" with its Cocaine like effects is roughly equivalent to saying that getting tazed by the police may cause the hair on your arm to stand up. Ingestion results in an amphetamine like high that causes the user to experience euphoria, hallucinations, and psychotic episodes.

With reviews like this, it makes bath salt the new poor mans cocaine that can still be purchased with a credit card. 

 And this guy.

Stories have already surfaced of regular citizens going above and beyond the call of duty after experiencing the effects of this new wonder drug. In Panama City, Florida, a woman allegedly attempted to behead her 71 year-old mother, and another man used his teeth to chew up the back seats of a Florida patrol car.

 Damn dog found my Bath Salts.

So welcome to the world of online drugs, Cocaine's release from prison and his new Alias. The drug everyone is doing and nobody is telling you about:

Bubble Bath O'Malley

I would probably shy away from this one. And I think that's all I'm morally bound to say.

See ya tomorrow everyone!